Suicide is a deeply troubling issue that affects countless lives around the world. According to the World Health Organization, nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, making it one of the leading causes of death globally. Despite these alarming statistics, suicide remains a taboo subject in many cultures, often leading to a lack of awareness and understanding. Recognizing the signs of suicidal thoughts and knowing how to support someone in crisis can be crucial in preventing a tragedy.
Recognizing the Signs
Identifying the warning or early signs of suicidal thoughts is the first and key step in providing support. Keep in mind that these signs can vary widely, with many different presentations, and they may or may not be triggered by a specific event. When in doubt, urge them to seek professional help. Here are some common signs:
Expressing Hopelessness: They may talk about feeling hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live. They might simply utter phrases like “I can’t see a way out” or “There’s no point in anything anymore” and these should never be dismissed.
Withdrawing from Loved Ones: A sudden withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities they usually enjoy can be a red flag. The individual may isolate themselves, cancel plans, or avoid contact, indicating that they are struggling internally.
Changes in Behavior: Look out for drastic changes in behavior and sleeping patterns, such as a sudden loss of interest in hobbies and leisure activities, neglecting personal appearance (e.g., someone who loves fashion and makeup suddenly stops caring about it), or engaging in reckless activities, especially ones they would usually fear or avoid. These changes may signal that the person is in distress.
Talking About Death or Suicide: Any mention of death or suicide, even if it seems casual or offhand, should be taken seriously. Statements like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I wish I could just disappear” can be cries for help. Exploring and asking questions about methods of suicide, successful suicide stories can also be alarming.
Giving Away Possessions: If someone starts giving away personal belongings, particularly items they value, or suddenly shows an urge to create a last will or settle their possessions, this could indicate that they are preparing for the possibility of suicide.
Mood Swings: Extreme sadness followed by sudden calmness can be a warning sign. After a long period of intense sadness or hopelessness, someone might suddenly appear extremely relaxed. This change can be deceiving, as those around them often mistake it for recovery and resolution of the problem. However, sometimes it is the opposite, this calmness may result from having made a suicide plan and simply waiting for the time to execute it.
A Personal Perspective
Suicide is a word that is personally traumatizing to me due to one of my own experiences. When I was working as a medical intern, I noticed that one of my Facebook friends was sharing some “alarming” posts. I hesitated to reach out because we weren’t very close, and I worried that asking about her posts might invade her personal space. I lacked the courage to start a conversation about it.
Within a month, I heard the devastating news that she had ended her life. To this day, I regret not reaching out to her, even if it meant risking being dismissed. I should’ve started that conversation. This experience has taught me the importance of recognizing the signs and not hesitating to offer support, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel.
How to Support Someone Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
If you notice these signs in someone you know, it’s important to act quickly and compassionately. Here’s how you can provide support:
Listen Without Judgment: The most crucial thing you can do is listen. Allow the person to express their feelings without interrupting or passing judgment. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares enough to listen can make a difference.
Express Concern and Empathy: Let the person know that you are concerned about them and that they are not alone. Use of empathetic language, such as, “I’m worried about you,” “I’m here for you” or “It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now.”
Query Directly About Suicide and your concerns: While it may feel uncomfortable, asking directly about suicidal thoughts can be the foundation of a crucial conversation. Questions like “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “Do you have a plan to harm yourself?” can help the person feel understood and supported.
Encourage Professional Help: Gently encourage the person to seek help from a mental health professional. Offer to help them find a therapist or counselor, or to accompany them to an appointment if they are hesitant.
Stay Connected: Continue to check in on the person regularly, even after the initial conversation. Consistent support can help them feel valued and less isolated.
Know When and How to Seek Immediate Help: If the person has a specific plan, or if their behavior becomes increasingly erratic, it’s vital to seek immediate help. You can seek help from emergency services or take them to the nearest hospital.
Redirecting Towards Hope: One effective way to support someone struggling with suicidal thoughts is by gently redirecting their attention to something positive—something to look forward to, something that offers even a glimmer of hope. Without being forceful, try to help them find a reason to live, no matter how small it may seem.
Sometimes, it’s the simplest things that can make the biggest difference. For instance, in one real-life example, a therapist encouraged a client to promise herself a small but meaningful ritual: to savor a warm, sweet cup of coffee after their final therapy session. As she indulged in each sip, the client began to realize that life wasn’t entirely hopeless. The simple act of enjoying that coffee became a turning point, and from that moment on, she only continued to improve.
Does Talking About Suicide Increase Someone’s Risk?
No. Talking about suicide doesn’t increase someone’s risk of taking their own life or will put ideas in their head. This is one of the misconceptions surrounding suicide and often prevents others from initiating the conversation. Asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide can be a lifesaving way to support them and help them get the care they need.
Resources
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out to a local mental health hotline, therapist, or counselor. There is help available, and you don’t have to face this alone.
The U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, is an accessible service for anyone living in USA. Additionally, online therapy options at By My Side are available for anyone around the world.
As the last note, recognizing the signs of suicidal thoughts and knowing how to offer support can save lives. While it’s a difficult and often uncomfortable subject to address, your compassion and willingness to help can make all the difference. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers—you just need to be there, listen, and guide them toward the help they need.
Author: Maleesha Thammitage